commit 2c58c10ebb273f8e45ef13d58abf71b8d530a1c4
Author: Amir Shehata <atozchristianproductions@gmail.com>
Date: Thu May 21 10:28:13 2020 -0700
COTR: Polish pass
Cleaned up some language mistakes and some dialogue.
Signed-off-by: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
commit 97965abbbb67a2db59c01ab86b09dde7ec8ab9c3
Author: Amir Shehata <ashehata@whamcloud.com>
Date: Sat May 16 15:58:19 2020 -0700
COTR: Polish pass
I don't want to say this is the final version
but I think I'm leaning towards making it so.
I have to call it done at some point
Signed-off-by: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
commit 50318217b89186c58728bc3e1ced459b5b933d35
Author: Amir Shehata <atozchristianproductions@gmail.com>
Date: Fri May 15 23:12:40 2020 -0700
COTR: Rewrite of Act 1 complete
First draft of the rewrite of the first act is complete.
Signed-off-by: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
commit 1d1983b89e40a9551ed3af08757b84badfd0c848
Author: Amir Shehata <atozchristianproductions@gmail.com>
Date: Wed May 13 21:12:43 2020 -0700
COTR: First phase of changes
Added a scene where Mary teaches kids
They get busted for having an illegal school
They escape.
Mary meets Jaime and Patrick.
Signed-off-by: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
commit 101994f5bfc476fe1c9a5f94cae047ccc8d98049
Author: Amir Shehata <atozchristianproductions@gmail.com>
Date: Tue May 12 20:11:59 2020 -0700
COTR: plan for rewriting the beginning
Minor updates to the plan
Signed-off-by: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
commit f89b183d984fde595ae12541754ce3073193df82
Author: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
Date: Sun May 10 15:33:17 2020 -0700
COTR: Updating the mid section
A plan on changes for the section after the decoration shop
sequence. Basically, I've drawn Mary as someone who tries to
educate kids about her tradition and her culture. She views
education as the way to change the world around her.
Joseph on the other hand feels betrayed by his surroundings.
He would rather fight the Eitorians than live with them.
Signed-off-by: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
commit 253fcbd15ba4282726032632a12e3d21ecc0d3df
Author: Amir Shehata <atozchristianproductions@gmail.com>
Date: Tue May 5 16:04:09 2020 -0700
COTR: Ending change and polishing
Changed the ending to have Mary and Joseph go find their parents.
Hadrian mourns his father.
Polished language and dialogue
Signed-off-by: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
commit f1fa99eaa7ceebbf4730aeebedd5c019e06ef086
Author: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
Date: Sun May 3 12:27:45 2020 -0700
COTR: Alternate ending
Continuation of a rewrite of Act 3.
Added another script with an alternate ending.
In the first ending Mary and Joseph are adopted by Patrick.
In the alternate ending Mary and Joseph go with Eimar to look
for their parents.
The alternate ending provides closure on all story lines
Signed-off-by: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
commit 45112c336bdac0c35d7d8eeec24df9275ca6847b
Author: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
Date: Sat May 2 20:27:50 2020 -0700
COTR: Updated Act 3
Extensive changes to Act 3.
The main purpose is to streamline Mary and Hadrian's storyline.
And to merge more readily into Joseph's storyline after he leaves
Patrick and goes to rescue his sister.
Signed-off-by: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
commit 4c03b46f85422e71fc63daf6da116a2f312974e7
Author: Amir Shehata <ashehata@whamcloud.com>
Date: Sat May 2 08:14:01 2020 -0700
COTR: Finalize the end sequence plan
Gave a do over to the ending. The point is to streamline the story
and to connect all the different elements of the story.
Possibly, build Hadrian as the main villain of the next installment
Signed-off-by: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
commit 7a881be37d40f8aa0829180c0ffb4538c307148b
Author: Amir Shehata <ashehata@whamcloud.com>
Date: Thu Apr 30 01:14:14 2020 -0700
COTR: Plan for changing the end
Added a plan to streamline Mary's storyline.
Added a tattoo which Mary and Joseph will have.
We will reveal that this tattoo is given to all the people of their
town on birth. Hadrian has a faded or burned off one. He doesn't
remember how he got it. We build up the relationship between
Hadrian and Mary. Hadrian confides in Mary the secret of him being
half Stronglandian. But she ends up betraying him to save the baby.
Signed-off-by: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
commit c92dff39b95d619ec5f1267bd853219842054275
Author: Amir Shehata <atozchristianproductions@gmail.com>
Date: Wed Apr 29 17:05:37 2020 -0700
COTR: Polish Pass 9
Another polish pass to clean up language and dialogue.
A plan to change the middle of the story and align
Mary's storyline with Joseph's
Signed-off-by: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
commit 13ba18dba35782fefb79da47bc721bc6c4fe9a31
Author: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
Date: Mon Apr 27 02:42:56 2020 -0700
COTR: version 2 of the pinboard
Mainly cause I changed the wrong one and I didn't want to override
what was there before.
Both should be very similar. I just use this to check the story with
the Save the Cat Structure.
Signed-off-by: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
commit 067bbbf8999611b8c599a628932961a3de3cc889
Author: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
Date: Mon Apr 27 00:55:21 2020 -0700
COTR: Some major plot updates
Beside the list of updates mentioned prior, one major change is how the story
starts. One of the big issues I was having is the introduction of the
beast/Eimar character. We see him on page 1, and then we don't meet
him again until page 26. And on page 1 we don't establish anything
about him. Basically the story now starts with an establishing
scene between Joseph and Eimar.
We show how they are friends, and then Eimar gets hunted down by
Eitorian hunters, weaponized and used to attack Patrick and his family.
This leads to significant conflict between Alfreda and Joseph later on
when Alfreda wants to kill off Eimar.
Signed-off-by: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
commit 4866b697eb1cd398ac50301598e190033128f63c
Author: Amir Shehata <ashehata@whamcloud.com>
Date: Sun Apr 26 07:02:45 2020 -0700
CORT: Polish pass 8
Started updating the script with my previous comments
Signed-off-by: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
commit 86a3a7d7b9a1c8916c47bb0bda7883a7b014403a
Author: Amir Shehata <atozchristianproductions@gmail.com>
Date: Sat Apr 25 12:06:17 2020 -0700
COTR: Finished the Synopsis
Wrote a synopsis which turned out to be too long and
probably not very well written. But the up side is that
I identified a few things I need to update in the script
1. Need to refer to Patrick's family as "The House of Patrick"
2. Need to refer to Marcus's family as "The House of Marcus"
3. Patrick exact title is "Sir Patrick the Second"
4. Joseph and Mary's country is called Strongland
5. The people of Strongland are called Stronglandians
5. Patrick and Marcus belong to a country called Eitoria
6. Patrick's people are called Eitorians.
7. Mary and Joseph's province is called "Little Strongland"
8. Update the beast attack scene. The way he's controlled is by
stabbing him with poison and then when he is confused they
get him to sniff a person's garments. He then redirects his
rage and kills those people.
9. When the guards shoot at the beast they should dip their arrows
in poison.
10. Joseph should use the rope trick to disable the chasing guard.
Thereby, foreshadowing how he will trick the beast.
11. Update the scene when Joseph wants to return the baby for the
reward. Mary should want to return the baby to Alfreda. Joseph
should counter that Alfreda most probably didn't survive the
attack.
12. Joseph then remembers the conversation with his sister and
Alfreda.
13. We need to add the medallion in the new sequence.
14. We need to update the sequence when he meets Alfreda. Does it
still make sense for Joseph to get Mad at Alfreda?
14. Update the sequence when Joseph goes to Patrick's house. It is
no longer the case that Alfreda tricked him to go there.
15. One question we still need to answer is how is Marcus planning
to put in effect the signed contract. We can make it clear that
he plans to kill Patrick once he signs the contract and then
he will spare Jaime and the baby since they'll be of no consequence
to him. Are we going to need to foreshadow the fact that the leaders
of Eitorian houses have the right to put to death people who betray
Eitoria?
Signed-off-by: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
commit a7bb317ef70d4a658f20813267416918a08a3e42
Author: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
Date: Thu Apr 23 12:03:36 2020 -0700
COTR: Story synopsis
First draft of the story Synopsis
Signed-off-by: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
commit adbb7d41b640d99c4acb6530ac61cfbe61b209f6
Author: Amir Shehata <atozchristianproductions@gmail.com>
Date: Wed Apr 22 19:24:12 2020 -0700
COTR: Major Story update
I cut out the following: 1. The sequence between Zakary and Joseph, where
Joseph steals the money (not necessary) 2. The sequence of Joseph and Mary
going back to the place where they live (we already established they are
poor. So there is nothing interesting there) 3. The sequence where they
meet Alfreda again (Doesn't add anything except exposition) 4. The
sequence when they run into Marcus and decide to kidnap the baby back (I
always felt it's just too coincidental and I wasn't comfortable with it.)
This cuts out all that middle chunk. I think it makes the story a lot more
streamlined. That whole section which I cut out doesn't seem to add much
to the characters. We already know that Mary is the impulsive but good
natured kid and looks at the good side of people. While Joseph is
established as the guy who just wants to survive and take care of his
sister. Marcus is the bad guy who doesn't like fair skinned folk. Patrick
and Jaime are the mixed race couple in royalty who are not very well liked
because of the threat they represent to the ruling class.
Signed-off-by: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
commit 13c6f5b74019c955443ad119d23567b2b716fc6c
Author: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
Date: Wed Apr 22 09:00:16 2020 -0700
COTR: Updates to the scriv file
Updated the sequence when Mary helps out Alfreda and Jaime
Signed-off-by: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
commit 134317b831341a83528fc678d8fededc7a22798f
Author: Amir Shehata <ashehata@whamcloud.com>
Date: Sun Apr 19 20:09:43 2020 -0700
COTR: Pinup board updates
Updates to the pinup board for posting online
Signed-off-by: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
commit 94d271cd1f22e6f5cb374d33ed5c0f7c63d79428
Author: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
Date: Sun Apr 19 13:43:43 2020 -0700
COTR: Polish Pass 7
Some more cleanups. Tune the dialogue. Correct
some of the languages.
Signed-off-by: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
commit e75a7de3d1bf95e48a57311d12b29ce19728372c
Author: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
Date: Sun Apr 19 00:44:18 2020 -0700
COTR: Polish Pass 6
Minor language updates
Signed-off-by: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
commit 3aec4109194e0b8da95004ec3f67ec6f63625c04
Author: Amir Shehata <atozchristianproductions@gmail.com>
Date: Thu Apr 16 21:28:40 2020 -0700
COTR: Blue
Blue revision started
Signed-off-by: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
commit 4f2ed786adf6adc6189360da5ca2c0880ab13098
Author: Amir Shehata <atozchristianproductions@gmail.com>
Date: Tue Apr 14 18:55:08 2020 -0700
COTR: update pinup board
Updated the pinup board with the story details
Added the dramatica books so I don't lose them.
Signed-off-by: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
commit 0aff1a6a6c0b376dddafbc0e6a2916bdd358ac21
Author: Amir Shehata <atozchristianproductions@gmail.com>
Date: Mon Apr 13 22:28:41 2020 -0700
COTR: Polish Pass 5
Minor cleanups in language and events.
Signed-off-by: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
commit 0cba17f87331b42f18661ac77873f3903a0684dc
Author: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
Date: Sun Apr 12 18:17:38 2020 -0700
COTR: Pin Board
Story in Pin Board format.
Needs Writer's Cafe to view
Signed-off-by: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
commit 226218fc271e727f66010baf14ef14b630f0eab6
Author: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
Date: Sun Apr 12 10:18:16 2020 -0700
COTR: All is lost, Dark night of the soul
Updates to All is lost:
Joseph seeks out Alfreda, bring the beast to her front door
They face the beast together.
Joseph's decision to save the beast backfires and Alfreda dies
Joseph has to bury her.
Updates to Dark night of the soul
Along the way Joseph gets lost
He ends up in the den of some of these beasts
He loses all hope. Submitting to his inevitable end he faces off
the beasts
The main beast comes into the scene and saves him.
They become friends
--> leads to: Gathering the team
Signed-off-by: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
commit 2c16cbf5621c421f1319de681dc3616aa6244a9a
Author: Amir Shehata <ashehata@whamcloud.com>
Date: Sun Apr 12 08:14:36 2020 -0700
COTR: Polish Pass 4
Minor corrections
Signed-off-by: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
commit 328ca64f9f17c57f946526d80f227e96ee511ff7
Author: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
Date: Sat Apr 11 18:10:05 2020 -0700
COTR: Polish Pass 3
Updated various dialogues and shortened the script by 3 pages
Signed-off-by: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
commit 049f9a8afe172f5dd229eb64e92d0034900d0a0b
Author: Amir Shehata <atozchristianproductions@gmail.com>
Date: Fri Apr 10 22:17:12 2020 -0700
COTR: Updated title page
Added story by section.
Changed the tagline
Signed-off-by: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
commit a6548c8577cb078705488f6e0d688fe4628041ed
Author: Amir Shehata <atozchristianproductions@gmail.com>
Date: Fri Apr 10 22:14:35 2020 -0700
COTR: Polish pass 2
Addressed Sergey's comments and made some more polishing
to the script. Mainly language fixes.
Signed-off-by: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
commit e94ac577cc57b2ffc9befd72998cd193755b713c
Author: Amir Shehata <atozchristianproductions@gmail.com>
Date: Tue Apr 7 00:46:08 2020 -0700
COTR: First polish complete
First polish pass complete.
Next step: breakup into smaller scripts
Signed-off-by: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
commit 6d6ca6b8f29c27f219c495e871a996a60c8b5a7b
Author: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
Date: Mon Apr 6 08:19:35 2020 -0700
COTR: Polishing Pass
Going through my first polishing pass. Some changes
in dialog
Signed-off-by: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
commit 51dd9c8271fc0f09a160bd2369d92b423af87cce
Author: Amir Shehata <ashehata@whamcloud.com>
Date: Sun Apr 5 08:27:45 2020 -0700
COTR: Updates to the names
Updated the name of the Constable to DUDLEY for easier reference
Signed-off-by: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
commit 8421cb2628e53410df3edfafb16f729c643e8139
Author: Amir Shehata <atozchristianproductions@gmail.com>
Date: Sat Apr 4 20:06:22 2020 -0700
Writing: Updates
V4 of Christmas on The Run
Trapped - short story idea
Signed-off-by: Amir Shehata <amir.shehata@gmail.com>
commit 7d8dfa24ea8c2a4f98b1f1f9b46411f277e531b1
Author: Amir Shehata <atozchristianproductions@gmail.com>
Date: Thu Mar 26 21:23:44 2020 -0700
Initial Commit of Stories
commit 1adaff1006d6862d4ab04ed79f31596ea7988c08
Author: atozchristian <62731192+atozchristian@users.noreply.github.com>
Date: Thu Mar 26 19:36:47 2020 -0700
Initial commit
|